Out of the Darkness and into the Light

Last week I struggled with feeling apathetic and procrastinated from writing. The week began productive and I started a project that did not end well. It made me feel deflated by the end of the week I tried to think of how I could get out of my rut. By Thursday morning I realized I had three days to finish my walking prep for the week, so I got up at 4:30am and walked for 30 minutes. It was still really dark out. As I walked by the other apartment buildings in the complex, I could hear someone’s alarm clock going off, lights were turning on, someone else’s day had begun this early too. The air was cool and brisk. It was a peaceful time to be out walking.

Taken with my cellphone camera, it really was this dark!

Since the week was a struggle I opted for more comforting meals to keep my spirits up.

Saturday morning I woke up later than I wanted to because I knew it would be a busy day. My mum called while I was eating breakfast, eyes half open, my mind a complete blank. When I answered the phone her voice was more chipper than usual. She was beyond excited because today her youngest child returned to the States. Since my Brazilian coffee was still brewing, I could not match her level of chipper-ness. Instead, I grumbled a few sentences and yawned threw the rest. My mum’s excitement was a wakeup call. I had six hours to go grocery shopping, clean the apartment, and make roasted red pepper dip all before 6pm when I would be leaving to pick Katie up at the airport. 

I forced myself off the couch and wrote up a quick list. It was a struggle to stay on task in Whole Foods. Usually I love to wander around and take my time, looking at all the new local produce. Apples were on display in paper bags and stacked up in pyramids of red and green. I was mesmerized. By the time I got home, I had 2 hours left to clean and prep for guests. I was a crazy, mad woman rushing around. I drove the cats nuts! I ran from one end of the apartment and back again, dirty clothes and torn magazines were thrown about. I vacuumed the carpet of cat hair until the bag was ready to burst. I cleaned while the red peppers roasted in the oven, then I finished putting it together. 

At about 15 minutes to my leave time I got a message from my mum that Katie’s flight had been delayed and I had an extra hour. I was beyond excited about this news. Holding the phone while reading that text message I took a moment to take in myself and my surroundings. My hair was sticking up all over the place, I wreaked a sweaty pungent smell, and the cats were running in the opposite direction of me. I realized how mixed my emotions were at that moment. I was stressed about all the details of the apartment and food because I wanted them to be perfect. I was feeling sad because my sister, my roommate, my best friend was coming home. It didn't matter how clean the apartment was or how perfect the dip came out. Katie was home and I would be able to see her. So I took a deep breath, put my head down, and finished getting ready.

When I got to my dad’s house I was a lot calmer. I only waited 10 minutes and then I got the “I’ve landed” text. So we jumped in my Hyundai and trekked our way down route 1. Pulling up to the arrivals section of Logan airport I saw her. Katie had the biggest smile on her face, luggage stacked up all around her, and her hand waving in the air. I could not contain my excitement. I quickly pulled over to the side of the curb and jumped out. I practically barreled into her, arms in a tight hug and squealed with delight! She was finally home. 

The car ride back to my dad’s house was filled with excited chatter. She had so much to say and we had so many questions. We hugged our dad goodnight and he headed inside to rest for the evening. My Hyundai engine sprang back to life and we zoomed down the street toward the highway. It had been four weeks and we finally had a moment to have a sister chat. We caught each other up on the things only close sisters confide in. 

When I unlocked the door to the apartment Katie’s cat came running down the hallway. Her paws had a little extra spring in their step. The rest of the evening was spent prepping appetizers and making dinner for Katie and I. I had spent the day doing so many chores that I forgot to eat lunch, let alone dinner until 9pm. When my guests arrived soon after Katie and I got home, it all became a flurry of cooking, talking, and eating. I forgot to take pictures of the spread I put out. The appetizers were pretty basic but hit the spot. I put out flaxseed, wheat crackers and cheese, pita crisps and roasted red pepper dip, organic red grapes, and a chocolate, raisin, and nut mix from Whole Foods. My mum brought over homemade chocolate chip cookies from the local farm store. They looked so good I could not turn it down.

I finally get to see Katie on this side of the computer screen!

We ended the night with Chinese tea and looking at some of Katie’s trip pictures. By the time the last guest left, it was 1:30am. I was exhausted, so after the kitchen cleanup I headed to bed. 

Sunday morning was made for sleeping in and I did just that. Katie and I relaxed with breakfast on the couch and talked about our plans for the day. She headed off to see her boyfriend and I grabbed my purse to run a few errands. I was only going to pick up a few household items but I drove by Olympia Sports feeling the urge to go in. 

The store was empty except two young ladies in red Olympia Sports shirts. They greeted me and cheerfully told me to alert them if I needed help. I realized I was the only customer in the store and it could be for only one reason, the Patriots game was on. I looked at all the colorful sneakers on display. Lately I have noticed a lot of the runners in my neighborhood sporting sneakers with very bright colors and here they were, shining brightly back at me. Since I wasn’t sure which one would really be good for my tired, old feet I asked the cheerful ladies for help. I ended up picking a really nice pair of Saucony sneakers in bright neon colors for those early morning walks (soon to be runs).

I saw that they were selling the Nathan sports bottles with the handy cover for storing your cell phone and keys. I had been eyeing them on Amazon and decided to just buy one from the nice sales lady.

I was so excited I went for a walk when I got home. I felt exhausted but exhilarated. The sneakers were fantastic! They are lightweight, breath cool air into the top of my feet, and support my tired arches. I'm excited for my next walk! 

In my cool down stretching, I realized how easily some of the movements were feeling. I used to struggle to lift my legs up in certain stretches and now they lift so easily.

Nala joined me when I did the stretches on the floor

I have high hopes for this week, not only for the couch to 5K work out prep, but also for the blog. I would like to write daily so you have something to look forward to. I read other blog sites every day before I get ready for bed. I like to check in and see what's been submitted. It’s like opening up a book and reading a few pages before you turn the lights out. The words soothe and relax you. Suddenly you’re transported as if you’re sitting next to the writer, experiencing the words on the page. Of course these words are being written at 1am so I can imagine you must be feeling as exhausted as I am. Since Monday is coming much sooner than I would like, I will end here and pick up again tomorrow. 

My stepbrother’s birthday celebration is tomorrow night, so it will be a long day before I’m back on this page. Mondays usually make me feel sluggish, so I hope yours is a lot better!

Sarah Jenkins